Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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