WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
