Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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