I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's Friday. Sex?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
