Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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