Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
