the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
