Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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