dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
