that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
