Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
