Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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