So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
