she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
