I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
