nut hugger
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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