why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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