just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
