Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
