What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
