I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
