what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
