gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
