Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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