they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I currently don't understand fingers.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
