Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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