I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
