I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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