NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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