Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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