In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize