If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
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