I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
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i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
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It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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