It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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