I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
