my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
