No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
