I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
