Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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