What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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