apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
FUCK WHALES
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