this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
