You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
