Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
