But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
