Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
