Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
