dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
