I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
