i love accidental penises.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize