Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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