i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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