Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
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You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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You ate ashes out of my bong
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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