if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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