Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
