if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
