Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I love you. Go after that dick
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
