i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
