Please don't use social media to get back at me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
