please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So apparently I’m into choking now
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