He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
