This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
