go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
